Right from under one's nose...

My husband and I share two pairs of reading glasses between us.

As I sat reading the newspaper in the sitting room, my husband picked up another sheet to read, then looked around for a pair of glasses. He found one pair quite easily, and helped himself to them from their perch on my nose, because the other pair was 'far away' in another room.

I could not complain that my glasses were taken away from right UNDER my nose, can I?

Scissors Vs Incisors

My son likes to add some mild spices to his curd rice.

He wished to add a pouch of oregano, and he was told to fetch a pair of SCISSORS to help himself.

Extending the pouch to an obliging parent, he got his father to tear open the pouch using the teeth.

Then he triumphantly pointed out: "See, I got a pair of INCISORS to do the job..."

uTo, pArth....!

One of the wake up calls that can be heard at home is Rise and Shine! Another is uTo, pArth, gAndIva sambhAlo! (or Utho Parth, Gandiv sambhalo! if you want it the not-properly-transliterated way)

Rise and Shine, apparently has its origins in the Bible. An equivalent call is, obviously, Arise, Awake! Stop not.......

One day it was the turn for using Sri Krishna's call to Arjuna - uTo, pArth, gAndIva sambhAlo! (Arise, Arjuna, String your bow)
I called out to our son, expectantly waiting for a sleepy answer.

Moments later, a different but equally lethargic voice answered - "Sambhaalke rakhaa hogaa..."

"Why can't we discuss?"

Returning from a tough social sciences paper, my son was asked by his grandfather- "How was the paper?"

7th grader: "Not very good. Geography was ok, but not history and civics."

GF: "Did you discuss the answers with your friends after the exam?"

7th grader: "No. What I can't understand is this - though the paper includes questions that begin with 'Discuss the following', the teacher does not let us discuss...."

Broccoli, Carrots and Sun Glasses

In the evenings, after all attendees at a Sanskrit camp were rejuvenated with some bhajans sung with gusto, younger minds were usually separated from older minds so that older minds could listen un-interrupted to some thought-stimulating talks. With a lot of gusto of my own I decided to treat the young minds to some thought-stimulating talk of their own! Not used to dealing with children on an hour-to-hour basis, my lack of familiarity with their vocabulary spectrum showed up in a very amusing way when I inadvertently used the word 'perspective'. Here is a snippet of conversation that followed.

Young curious mind (YCM): What is 'perspective'?

Me: Hm... Have you seen a 3D movie?

YCM: What is a 3D movie?

Me: Hmm... Have you worn sun glasses?

YCM: What is sun glasses?

Me; Hmmm... Have you seen your father wear dark glasses when he goes out in the Sun?

YCM: Oh! When my dad was young, he did not eat broccoli or carrots. So, he has to wear glasses now …

Once realization dawned on me about what carrots and broccoli had to do with sun glasses (he indeed was a cool kid - he had taken the Sun out!), I was thoroughly amused and helpless with laughter.

My next sane question elicited an yelled out 'yes'. The smart person that I was, I said “You do not have to yell! I ate my broccoli and carrots when young, so my hearing is intact!” Pleased that I had handled smartness with smartness, I was about to proceed when another young curious mind piped up “If you ate your broccoli and carrots, why did you need glasses in class to read a book?” - I had had to confess to not being able to read some small letters, and switched to a story with relatively bigger letters.

Now I understand why others entrusted with the task of tending to the young minds chose physical play-time to wear out the young imps rather than attempt any thought-stimulating talk! All said, I am very proud of the eventual rapt attention I was able to elicit out of them!!!

Lip Service!

He is no romantic by any stretch of the imagination; a 'simple and happy family person' is the unwritten middle name. She could fit the bill as a 'practical romantic', which is very different from being star-struck.

Once when the ambience was just right, they happened to be simply holding hands in companionship. She impulsively touched the back of his hand to her lips. Moments later she was pleasantly surprised when the gesture was unexpectedly returned by her life partner.

Relish the moment she did, but couldn't resist quipping "Lip service, eh?"

Why are you wearing the same dress today?

I had the opportunity to teach young minds Sanskrit at a Sanskrit camp. While packing, I took summer and Sanskrit into account and ended up with cottons, but mostly earth tones. While my mind balked at the color monotonousness, I didn't have the time to diversify!

So, second day of camp, one young curious mind wanted to know - “Why are you wearing the same dress as yesterday?” Internally chiding myself for not taking the time to diversify, I made the general disclaimer to my class of ten tens (average age) - “Oh! This is a different dress, and all my dresses this trip are similar colors.” Final day of camp, my attire stood out from the rest of the ensembles, I guess! I had to survive the declaration “You said you brought same colors! But, this is different!”

Do I applaud the children for being observant, or, do I squirm for the rest of my life at the thought they thought I wore the same dress for three full days before finally changing into something different on the fourth day!

Give way / Give away?

Our family of 3 and a friend's family of 4 usually squeeze into a single vehicle for occasional city trips, the fathers in front with one kid piggy-fronting with the passenger seat occupant, and the rest - we mothers and the other two kids adjusting in the rear.

On one such trip, my friend's kids sat between us, and it was obvious that the older son was in no mood to humour his younger sister, and we could feel him fidgeting to remain comfortable.

Being the youngest of three siblings myself, I felt happy to advise the boy - "Ashwin, you are older, and perhaps you could give way" to which the teenage came back - "yes, auntie, I'm ready to give her away"...

Sibling rivalry can have some ultra-light moments too!

Waking up rAmA

To set a positive note each dawn, I switch on some real music to the ears - devotional songs and slokas rendered by the incomparable MS. Number 1 in the playlist is invariably "Sri Venkatesa Suprabhatam". Here are the first couple of verses of this composition -
1. "kausalyasuprajarama!
purva sandhya pravartate,
uttistha! narasardula!
kartavyam daivam ahnikam.
(O! Rama! Kausalya's auspicious child! Twilight is approaching in the East. O! best of men (Purushottama)! Wake up, the divine daily rituals have to be performed.)
2. uttisthottistha! govinda!
uttistha garudadhvaja!
uttistha kamalakanta!
trailokyam mangalam kuru.
(O! Govinda, wake up! O! Garudadhvaja (one who has Garuda on his flag)! wake up. O! Kamalakanta (the husband of Kamala)! by rising, render the three worlds auspicious." )

The music serves as a wake-up call to my son, and as wake-up calls go, sounds infinitely better compared to the usual nag-and-prod method accompanied by repeated patience-testing shrieks.

One morning he happened to wake up somewhat early, and interrupted my morning chores with "Isn't it time to wake up (Lord) rAmA?"

"Mom's landfill"

Trying to develop a green attitude within the family, I try to stick to some simple do's at home - not throwing away polythene, segregating waste, leaving packaging at store, saving water wherever and whenever possible, and so on. The polythene sachets that end up reaching the house despite utmost care are stacked in a shelf of the small store-room, and occasionally come in handy for packing or wrapping stuff.

One hectic day, someone happened to pull a wrap from the stocked pile, and down tumbled all the used (but clean) bags. I soon heard my son calling out - "Dad, have a look at mom's landfill"......

Devil's Workshop?

At my place I constantly harp on energy conservation and related issues -"Switch the lights off, Sonny". "Turn down the water flow, my dear maid". "Let's take the bus today for a change", and so on.
My husband is good-humouredly tolerant of all my strictures, but I just got a glimpse of what he thinks of this habit of mine.
This morning he donned helmet to take the two-wheeler to work, and I was surprised…he usually prefers more wheels, a hood on top,... “I am glad you are finally getting around to thinking green…”, I said. To which his reply started thus: “An idealistic mind is a devil's workshop….”

Garlic peeler!

Did you read all the way from America. Are you curious? Here's garlic peeler demystified...a very 'hi-tech' gadget...

A mother's evening out

Merry was I when I got a call from my husband from work about a plan to spend the evening out in the city. Apparently, another new father like him had come in for some nagging from the wife about the grind, bustle and bother of newly blessed motherhood, and together they had decided to treat the moms to a few hours away from baby-related sights, sounds and smells. Having worked actively full time on a non-sedentary, ‘nomadic’ defense job for six years and then finding myself sitting at home changing nappies and sterilizing bottles, such occasions saw me going all gaga with anticipation and euphoria.
Came six of the clock and my baby and I were all decked out and ready. The other merry family, also of papa-mama-baby constitution joined us as planned and we set out for an evening of festivities at a local fair to be followed by dinner at a mouth-watering hole. Babies cooperated very nicely; the fair was user-friendly without being pocket-pinching. At nine of the evening, still floating on a cloud, we came out of the fair to make a beeline to the eatery, when: with a near-audible thud! I landed from the cloud I was in – I just remembered that I had forgotten to turn off the gas – I had set a huge vessel to boil water for babies’ things. What a to-do resulted, only my otherwise calm husband continued to be cool, calm and collected. He called our neighbor, gave him helpful directions to break open a meshed door to the kitchen from the garden, and waited till dear next-door-Samaritan gave a graphic report on the condition of the vessel he found glowing like coal in my ‘work-place’. Well, the faithful follower of Norman Vincent Peale that I am, I took it in my stride towards, well, dinner.

All the way from America...

My mom is on a 6-month first-time visit to the US and Canada. It's getting to the fag end of her sojourn, and she just asked me if any of us would like her to bring back souvenirs / gifts. I growled 'no electronic stuff, no battery-operated toys' for the son (of course, I didn't ask him before I decided), 'books and casual wear ok, if at all', and 'absolutely nothing for us'. Think of others and make a list of suitable stuff, I continued.
Curiosity got the better of us and my husband asked her if she was getting anything for herself....yes, a garlic peeler.

Deft definitions

1. Slippery Soap: A real FMCG!

Ahead of the Times?

At a defense base repair depot I was posted to, there was always a resource-crunch and hi-tech gadgets were rare. Consequently, some project funds allotted could be justifiably used for upgrading facilities like presentation equipment. One of these gizmos that a vendor demonstrated and was subsequently procured was a battery-operated laser pointer, now quite a common utility. A few months later, I found the item featured in "The Times of India" as part of a technological update. That was probably the only instance that my organization was ahead of the Times!

Venetian: Blind they may be, but do they vanish?

Luxuries for office rooms in the defense establishment I was posted to were literally unheard of - even curtains were for the very senior lot. So when word came that blinds had been authorized for windows in officers' rooms, one colleague's enthusiasm was pardonable: he called out to us juniors: "Finally I can have vanishing blinds in my office".

Does time walk, or run, or fly?

My sister was just about done with preparation for some major exams. On a particular Sunday afternoon a couple of weeks before the testing period, she looked at the clock and whined "It's already four. How time flies!" My ever-busy wife, always hard-pressed for time but with her wits ever intact, remarked: "Yes, dear, my request to it to fly during weekdays and slow down to a walk, or better still to stop altogether at weekends, falls on deaf ears!"

Indian lingual delights

As my wife and I worked in the kitchen one day, I happened to mention that a couple of necessary chores had been accomplished. She likened the context to a local idiom in her tongue "hitting two mangoes with one stone (oru kal, rendu manga)". I immediately gave her the equivalent saying in my language, which reads, "killing two birds with one bullet (oru gundu, rendu pakshi)"; at which she nonchalantly remarked: "Oh but we are vegetarians, you know".

When you are starry-eyed...

A colleague was recounting her younger days, when, as a newly-married couple setting up house, she and her husband filled their kitchen shelves with trendy glass and plastic jars. A well-meaning visitor remarked; "Perhaps you should go in for conventional stainless-steel containers; this plastic is slow poison, you know?" To which the young bride remarked, tongue-in-cheek, "Oh, I am in no great hurry".